White Horse
by LetTheRadioBreakTheSilence
Summary: He didn't even apologize...he just looked at me with that stupid angelic face...and I always forgave him when he gave me that look. But not now. I couldn't forgive him for this. He may not have been sorry then, but he would be sorry soon. Tess song fic.


My shaking hands were making it hard to remove the child-proof cap. I couldn't get his face out of my mind. That stupid face. He still looked like an angel, even when I caught him in the act. When I caught him with her. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I would never have believed he could do something like that to me. He was such a smooth talker. And I was so naïve. He'd really had me fooled.

I never wanted to fall in love with him. But those eyes…those stupid eyes. I got lost in them. I should've known better. I knew his reputation – the classic Hollywood player. People don't change. I don't know why I thought that being here, with me, would suddenly turn him into a faithful guy. I let myself fall. I was a typical stupid girl. I had all these dreams of happy endings and fairytales…but I know now that those things don't exist. Not in real life. Well, not in my life, at least.

I swallowed them down with a tall glass of water, hoping that it would wash the thoughts of him away in the process. I wondered if I'd taken enough. Why had I believed him? He probably told her that he loved her, too. He probably told her all the things he told me. I should never have believed him. But why did he try so hard if he didn't really care? I turned him down so many times, at first…but he fought. He fought to show me why I should give him a chance. Why would he do that if he was just going to stray?

I never should have listened. This is what I had been afraid of in the first place. That he would live up to his reputation. That he would hurt me. I should have listened to my instincts. I should have never let him convince me that he could change. He didn't change at all. I wondered how many there had been before her. How many he'd gotten away with.

He didn't even apologize. He didn't say anything, actually. He just looked at me with that stupid angelic face, the one that he always gave me when he screwed up. And I always forgave him when he gave me that look. But not now. I couldn't forgive him for this. He may not have been sorry then, but he would be sorry soon.

I took a few more, just in case. I paced back and forth, wondering what it would be like. Would it hurt? It couldn't hurt more than I was already hurting. My heart had never felt such pain…like it had been broken into a billion little pieces, and I knew I'd never be able to put it back together. Even if I could, I couldn't feel like this again. Once was enough…too much, really. I hope he felt the same way when he saw what he had made me do.

I was getting to dizzy to stand any longer. I lied down on my bed and set the bottle on the bedside table, just so he would know. Everything seemed like it was moving in slow motion. I could feel my breathing getting slower, and shallower. It was peaceful, in a weird way.

I heard a knock at the door…it sounded further away than I knew it was. I could hear him opening the door and calling my name. He was walking around the apartment looking for me. It seemed as though his voice was becoming more distant, even though he was getting closer.

"Tess?"

He looked at me, and then the empty bottle of pills on the table, and back to me. I could see the fear in his eyes and I felt myself smile.

"Tess, no…" he said quietly, racing towards me. He got down on his knees and touched my face gently, tears welling in his eyes. "Tess, I'm so, so sorry. Mitchie didn't mean anything…I love you. You have to forgive me, please. Tess, stay with me. Please."

I heard him dialing 9-1-1 on his cell phone and talking to someone. As the sleepiness began to take over me, he noticed the note on the table. I watched him read it, tears falling down his face. I wanted to say something. I wanted to ask him why. Why I hadn't been enough for him. I wanted to ask him what she had that I didn't. What I had done to make him go running into her arms. But the world was disappearing too quickly, and before I could speak, my eyes closed and I drifted away.

_Dear Shane,_

_I'm not a princess_

_This ain't a fairytale_

_I'm not the one you sweep off her feet,_

_Lead her up the stairwell_

_This ain't Hollywood,_

_This is a small town_

_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down_

_Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around…_

_Love always,_

_Tess_

**A/N: Song is "White Horse" by Taylor Swift. There will probably be more Tess fics soon because I am enjoying being angsty. Thanks for reading! REVIEW!**


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